Yes, this is me holding a beautiful, two-year old dolphin, Fin, on our recent trip to the Bahamas. It was a few hours after giving my talk on how to stop burnout for the Caribbean Insurance Conference, and I had to laugh, as holding a dolphin is a fantastic way to stop burnout!

When I thought about it, doing something you’ve never done before, adding a bit of adventure to life, is a great burnout buster. The conference got off to a bang with introductory remarks followed by wild dancing and music from the Saxons and a reception. My talk, “Stop Burnout:  Five Steps to Re-Energize Your Work for Your Best Year Ever” was the plenary session the next day and fit the conference theme:  “Industry Evolution:  Operating in the New Normal.”

We discussed many of the major stress points that make up the new normal, and then looked at strategies for ensuring that burnout doesn’t wear you down and compromise your work. What I’ve found in speaking to diverse industries is that often small adjustments make a big difference. For example, taking mini-breaks (and we all stood up and stretched during my talk), and giving yourself uninterrupted time for important tasks, leads to higher energy and a sense of satisfaction. It’s not easy to make yourself stop and remember the cost of burnout, but if you do, you’ll find you’re doing your best work, and will feel almost as wonderful as I did holding this beautiful dolphin.

P.S. A big thanks to all who worked so hard to make this conference a success.

My best friend, Nancy, is into Japanese flower arranging. It’s a kind of meditation. Look at one of her recent creations. Isn’t it amazing? What a great way to be present and enjoy color, design, texture. I imagine making these is just as wonderful as looking at them. I’m going to add these to my list of burnout busters!

I was interviewing an audience member for a talk I’m giving next month, and as I listened to this very successful professional tell me about his work and stress points, I noticed a certain pride when he told me, “Yes, Jean, I’m a workaholic.”

“But what do you do to take care of yourself?” I had asked.

He laughed and said that he loved his work and that he had a plan for the exact moment he was going to retire.

Now bells are going off in my head, as I’ve heard this story before. In fact it’s very common for people in high-stress jobs to defer living. Living is later. It’s after. It doesn’t fit now with the demands of the job.

So here’s where I differ–why I see being a workaholic as more of a danger than a point of pride. Living a balanced, creative and healthy life takes practice. It’s almost like developing a muscle–you’ve got to do it, work out the kinks, build your strength. What happens to many people who work as hard as this person does when they stop? They fall apart. They get sick or depressed or both. They feel unwanted. Unproductive. Put out to pasture. And they don’t know how to enjoy their time when all they’ve done for the past thirty years or more is to live according to the external structure of what their work requires.

So yes, work hard. Be promoted. Have pride in your work. All of that is good. But if you want your work is be its best, you’ve got to care for yourself and also demonstrate for your team, that work without pauses, without breaks, without filling the well, is not smart. And if you can do that, then when it’s time to retire or work part-time,  you’ll have cultivated other interests and will find the transition much easier.

Take a quick look at what one audience member has to say after Jean’s presentation on how to stop burnout at the PALA conference. It was a wonderful event, May 3, in Lancaster, PA.

Took a beautiful walk this morning and passed this crazy sign. It made me laugh! Sometimes we get just the message we need! Here’s a little something I wrote in my journal about spring:

There is so much

To be done

In this new season,

Yet I stare out the window

In wonder:

A weeping Cherry

And the first

Green leaves.

Here I am in the beautiful Crystal Ballroom of the Roanoke Hotel and Conference Center speaking to 170 members of VALA. The theme was “Set Your Goals in the Right Direction” and it was so smart to include how to take care of yourself as you care for others. As I told the group, “You’re really good at helping people at this critical time in their lives when they can no longer live alone. That muscle is a six-pack. It’s strong, but none of us can sustain this effort unless we also care for ourselves.”  We talked about common sources of stress: this is a 24/7 job, it’s highly regulated, there’s a lot of turnover especially with CNAs and other staff, and you’re increasingly dealing with residents with serious medical issues.

One woman told me after my talk, that she had turned her whole life around. She began taking care of her own health, lost a lot of weight, invested in additional education, and starts each day with gratitude. A man I spoke with told me that the government regulations–which according to him make little sense–drive him crazy, but that he’s learned how to accept them and make his facility the best he can.  We covered a wide range of burnout busters–from exercise, to prayer, to trying out a new craft. The key is to make time to use these tools. They won’t do you any good gathering dust in a drawer.

Work is called “work” for a reason–it takes effort and often isn’t easy. But work should also be fun. It’s wonderful to have a team that you’re proud of, to see the difference you’re making in people’s lives, and to invest in yourself so that each day is an adventure. I’d love to hear how you’re using your Burnout Busters!

Yes, it’s time to say goodbye to winter, but as we do, it’s got its beauty, too, doesn’t it? This is a shot from my front yard, looking out over the field and woods, coated in snow. I’m headed to Virginia next week to give a talk on burnout to the Virginia Assisted Living Association where I hope the spring flowers are already in bloom. Here in New England they’re still shivering, but there are buds that once we get a warm day, will burst open.

The change of seasons is always an exciting time–somehow new and surprising even though we’ve been through it many times before. When we recover from burnout, when we can appreciate what’s in front of us, our lives are much more interesting. We can see without judgment, embrace change and focus on what each day brings.

Okay, that’s good, but I’ve got to say, the snow melted. Hooray!

Had a great time last night at the Senior Executive Women’s Network in New Haven. My talk was “Presenting Strong Women:  Stand Out Every Time You Talk.” We worked on many presentation skills, but I promised the group that I’d write a blog on how to rephrase difficult questions, since that’s what most of us fear when we get to the Q&A part of our talks.

So, first, with solid eye contact on the questioner, listen for the concept of the question. Don’t let negative language throw you–just listen. Then break eye contact, find another pair of eyes and rephrase the question. This means ask a rhetorical question (one that no one is going to answer) before you answer. In my book “The Essential Job Interview Handbook”, I give extreme examples of this, just to demonstrate how powerful rephrasing is. Here are a few:

• “Didn’t your former company pay you more than you were worth?” Rephrase:  “How did XYZ determine my compensation?”
• “How well do you take criticism?” Rephrase:  “How has feedback made me a better manager?”
• “Why have you worked for so many companies?” Rephrase:  “How did I get such a diverse background?”

What do we notice from these examples? That the rephrase is true to the concept of the question, and that it does an incredible job of taking away the negative words/implications, and in fact makes answering the question easy. After you rephrase, of course you answer the question, and then, look at a different audience member and ask “Any other questions on (repeat your topic)?” This keeps the audience on track.

Yes this is like patting your stomach and rubbing your head, but if you practice in everyday life, you’ll have a powerful tool to help you manage difficult and/or hostile questions. Q&A is where we shine because we’re off script and are interacting with the audience. Make it count!

When I was a teenager and tried to learn how to knit, I became cranky. The directions didn’t make a lot of sense, and before long my wool looked like a tangled rat’s nest. Fast forward many years and guess what? I love to knit. I find it relaxing (when I get past the hard parts), and I have a mentor who helps me with new projects. My latest was learning how to knit socks. Aren’t they beautiful? So in these days when winter seems to be lasting forever, and when you may be suffering from burnout, give yourself the gift of doing something that you thought you could never do. Surprise yourself. And of course get help so that you’re not stuck trying to figure out the directions on your own. I told my mentor recently that, “the directions make a lot of sense if you already know what you’re doing!” This pair is going to my daughter. I’m so proud of my new skill and that of course is a huge affirmation. Who knows what I’ll make next?

In helping groups stop burnout and get re-energized, I realized that those who practice gratitude are often way ahead of the game. There are obvious reasons–they’re not complaining, they’re proactive, and gratitude is infectious and draws others in. But I’ve read a number of articles recently that indicate that those who are grateful have huge advantages. Here are a few:  less likely to get sick, better citizens, not suffering from burnout, sleep better, and much less likely to be depressed. One author suggests gratitude is a muscle–something you can build and strengthen. So even if you don’t think your brain is going to thank you for this, give it a try. End each day listing at least three things you’re grateful for. Like tulips!