I was interviewing an audience member for a talk I’m giving next month, and as I listened to this very successful professional tell me about his work and stress points, I noticed a certain pride when he told me, “Yes, Jean, I’m a workaholic.”

“But what do you do to take care of yourself?” I had asked.

He laughed and said that he loved his work and that he had a plan for the exact moment he was going to retire.

Now bells are going off in my head, as I’ve heard this story before. In fact it’s very common for people in high-stress jobs to defer living. Living is later. It’s after. It doesn’t fit now with the demands of the job.

So here’s where I differ–why I see being a workaholic as more of a danger than a point of pride. Living a balanced, creative and healthy life takes practice. It’s almost like developing a muscle–you’ve got to do it, work out the kinks, build your strength. What happens to many people who work as hard as this person does when they stop? They fall apart. They get sick or depressed or both. They feel unwanted. Unproductive. Put out to pasture. And they don’t know how to enjoy their time when all they’ve done for the past thirty years or more is to live according to the external structure of what their work requires.

So yes, work hard. Be promoted. Have pride in your work. All of that is good. But if you want your work is be its best, you’ve got to care for yourself and also demonstrate for your team, that work without pauses, without breaks, without filling the well, is not smart. And if you can do that, then when it’s time to retire or work part-time,  you’ll have cultivated other interests and will find the transition much easier.