Had a great time last night at the Senior Executive Women’s Network in New Haven. My talk was “Presenting Strong Women:  Stand Out Every Time You Talk.” We worked on many presentation skills, but I promised the group that I’d write a blog on how to rephrase difficult questions, since that’s what most of us fear when we get to the Q&A part of our talks.

So, first, with solid eye contact on the questioner, listen for the concept of the question. Don’t let negative language throw you–just listen. Then break eye contact, find another pair of eyes and rephrase the question. This means ask a rhetorical question (one that no one is going to answer) before you answer. In my book “The Essential Job Interview Handbook”, I give extreme examples of this, just to demonstrate how powerful rephrasing is. Here are a few:

• “Didn’t your former company pay you more than you were worth?” Rephrase:  “How did XYZ determine my compensation?”
• “How well do you take criticism?” Rephrase:  “How has feedback made me a better manager?”
• “Why have you worked for so many companies?” Rephrase:  “How did I get such a diverse background?”

What do we notice from these examples? That the rephrase is true to the concept of the question, and that it does an incredible job of taking away the negative words/implications, and in fact makes answering the question easy. After you rephrase, of course you answer the question, and then, look at a different audience member and ask “Any other questions on (repeat your topic)?” This keeps the audience on track.

Yes this is like patting your stomach and rubbing your head, but if you practice in everyday life, you’ll have a powerful tool to help you manage difficult and/or hostile questions. Q&A is where we shine because we’re off script and are interacting with the audience. Make it count!