In job search, it’s a wonderful thing to be motivated and meticulous at follow up, but I recently got myself into trouble as I didn’t realize that it was time to let go and move on. I keep a spreadsheet of all my search activities and when I notice that someone in my network hasn’t gotten back to me, I reach out to them. And often, that’s productive and sends a positive message:  I’m excited about my work. But when the person on the other side really doesn’t want to talk with you and no matter what you say you’re not going to change his or her mind, then it’s a good idea to say “Thanks” and get off the phone.

But because I was in follow up mode and because I knew that my skills would be a good fit for this particular organization, I heard myself arguing with the person on the phone–and yes, it gets worse–I even went so far as to tell them why they were wrong about using their own people. Not so smart. It finally occured to be that I was in a losing battle and I did get off the phone–in a rotten mood.

So I emailed my search buddy and when we spoke the next day she gave me a wonderful new contact. (A search buddy is someone who is also in transition who agrees to help you throughout the process.) When I thought about it I realized this was a much better place to put my efforts and that I had to let go of the other opportunity. Lastly, I gave myself a pat on the back as I had tried really hard, had networked effectively, but it just wasn’t going to happen. A hard but important lesson.